What a crazy world we live in! All of these games to play and all of this food to eat. Luckily, you’ve found the website my wife runs that brings both together in a triumphant head-on collision of taste and fun! I wanted another crack at a recipe (since I am always so helpful) so I threw together another one of my specialties from one of my most recent favorite games, Yakuza 5! This game has it all, mystery, danger, street brawling, a noodle cooking minigame, fighting for what you believe in, protecting those you love, and this taxi minigame where everyone seems to be suicidal and wants to run in front of your vehicle. But really, what the Yakuza series captures the most is the essence of being in Japan. The localization in this game really does a great job at preserving the feel of living in Japan while making everything easy for a non-Japanese audience to understand. The story is always really good and the amount of things you can do in the game is ridiculous. I highly recommend it.
Victoria has done a few different Yakuza series recipes in the past, but I wanted to bring in my favorite food that I always buy in the game and carry around with me, Boss Coffee! I even told my mii in Miitomo yesterday that Boss Coffee is my favorite food. Some jerk commented saying “ooh, that isn’t food, it’s a beverage” but they were probably jealous they thought of a worse answer. Also, they were wearing a cactus outfit, so how can I even take them seriously? But you can’t just make Boss Coffee with a simple trip to the store. Oh no, we need to go a bit further with this recipe. Enough talking, lets get to cooking!
Results: 1 can
Ingredients:
Singapore Airlines round trip ticket (or equivalent)
Suitcase
Passport
¾ cup heavy cream
5 days of clothing
Salt to taste
A few hundred Yen in coins
Pocket Wifi (optional)
At least 3 months before you plan on serving Boss Coffee, go to your favorite international airlines website and grab a round trip ticket to Narita Airport in Tokyo. I went with Singapore Airlines but this is your recipe too, so figure out what works best for you. You’ll also want to make sure your passport is placed in the fridge to settle before flying.
Board your flight and fly to Narita airport. Head out through customs and take a train into Tokyo.
Take 5 steps in any direction once you get out and look in the vending machine you almost ran into. There will be a few other options here, but we are looking for Boss Coffee. It’ll be the one with an old man’s face on the label and the distinct aura of Tommy Lee Jones.
Huh, weird. That vending machine didn’t have it. If you run across this problem, you’ll want to turn on your pocket wifi and figure out how to get to Tsukiji Fish Market. It’s a great place to check out when they are having their tuna auctions if you feel like waking up at BUTTS IN THE MORNING but we aren’t worried about that, this recipe is about Boss Coffee.
See, this can be confusing, but I seem to have forgotten that the Tsukiji Fish Market doesn’t serve coffee in cans, they actually sell fish. A whole lot of fish. Please don’t confuse that picture for a can of boss coffee, let’s uhh…. Wait I remember, over here.
Okay, when you arrive at the sumo tournament, grab a seat and wait 2-3 hours for the boss coffee to arrive. You’ll see the sumo adding salt to taste, but they add a bit too much for my liking. Again, this is your recipe adventure, so add as much as you want. And I totally meant to go this way, but this isn’t quite working as I expected, so we need to move on to the boss coffee. That is the reason why we are here, right? Right. OF course.
Just… maybe Mount Fuji has some? Is that a Thomas the Tank Engine train? Really, Japan? I mean, alright, fine.
Okay, here we are at Fuji where Boss coffee… is… well these stalls sell lots of weird things. No boss, it seems. You know, the thing we were trying to make here. These people are not being helpful at all. OH HERE this vending machine is where you’ll find… Pokka? Really, if I wanted that brand of coffee I’d go hit the fancy buttons I can’t read on my hotel’s toilet and-
Alright, someone told me there was boss coffee up this way, but these steps are killing me. Why did anyone think this was a good idea? Forget the recipe, this isn’t working! ARGH I told Victoria that I had the recipe for this week because I knew I had the perfect idea but I can’t find a single CAN LEFT IN THIS CURSED LAND. I’ve reached the summit, I’ve probably thrown in the ¾ cup heavy cream a while ago but honestly I don’t remember where. But who… who is that?
Of course! The monkey sage has spoken to me and knows the way. I went this way on purpose, obviously.
So you’ll want to pay the monkey sage his offering and listen to his wisdom. Also, you can’t look directly at the monkey sage’s eyes because it makes him irritable. Look, I didn’t make that step up, the sign told me.
And voila! I found it! The monkey sage lead me to the correct vending machine. Insert your yen into the machine and press the right button. Please don’t forget, we are looking for the boss of them all.
And enjoy! I found this recipe works best in a group, but you’ll need to try it out for yourself to see what works best for you.
